Feedback from Sian on section introductions/structure

Hi James

This all looks good - tidy and clear. There are a couple of v minor things on the attached. My bigger comment would be that there is no indication here of what critical argument you will be making, and no sense of how this will inform and structure the written text. It's good to be able to say in the introduction 'this is the argument I am making, and this is why', and then to be able to say in the conclusion 'this is how my argument has been made, and this is how I have demonstrated that it is important'.

If you were going to define a single argument you will be making in this dissertation, what would it be? If you can define that and write it down in a couple of sentences, that can really help give 'spine' to the piece of work and a coherent sense of direction. Then, whatever meanderings happen in the individual chapters, the piece of work still has a clear trajectory.


Possibly you are quite clear on this - it just didn't come through in the document. If it would help to just fire back to me the central argument (maybe try writing it down in less than 20 minutes : ) ) I can feed back quickly on that. I'm pretty sure you know what it would be - it's just a question of articulating it.


let me know what you think?


s